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Get Hard (Blu-ray)
Wait for it...wait for it...

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Get Hard!

Okay, okay, the dick pun's out of the way, so now we can go ahead and get down to brass tacks. Mega-millionaire financial tycoon James King (Will Ferrell) meets up with Darnell (Kevin Hart) in a parking garage, offering the little man thirty grand to get him hard. It makes sense! On the hook for money laundering and securities fraud, James is staring down the barrel of ten years in prison. Since Darnell is black and knows that San Quentin is a thing that exists, clearly the guy's gotta be an ex-con, right? James only has a few weeks of something resembling freedom left, and the guy's nothing but creamy nougat center. He's desperate for someone to toughen him up so he can take care of himself on the inside. Darnell isn't exactly the man for the job; he's never had so much as a parking ticket, let alone spent any time in the clink, but...sshh! Don't tell James. That $30K is the downpayment this middle-class, stand-up guy needs to get a proper home for his family and his darling daughter in the right school district. So, Darnell puffs up his chest and bullshits his way through Maximum Security 101, transforming James' palatial estate into a miniature prison while he's at it.

There are two unrecognizably different reviews I could be hammering out right now. Overanalytical Armchair Film Critic looks at Get Hard's premise as pointing the way towards some potentially brilliant social satire: wealth inequality, racial prejudices, and even the way Darnell looks at his own "blackness". There's some of that sprinkled in here, yeah, but Get Hard is more fascinated by Darnell tormenting his dopey student with a Let's-Get-Ready-for-Prison gauntlet: everything from weight lifting to cramming contraband up your butt to fighting random guys on...[read the entire Blu-ray review of Get Hard]


Thrashin' (Blu-ray)
"Thrashers: that sounds like...like, vandals and juvenile deliquents. Troubled youth."
"Naw, no, no. Thrashin'! It's just an aggressive style of skating. Y'know, we thrash."
"Well, what do you thrash?"
"Whaddya got?"


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Think Breakin' with skateboards and a similar disregard for that trailing letter 'g'. Josh Brolin is Corey Webster, an outsider thrashin' away the summer in Los Angeles. His pals from down in the Valley are the Ramp Locals, a group of inoccuous skaters who are indeed local and have a ramp. Their arch-rivals are the ominously-named Daggers, a gang of leather-clad roughnecks who spraypaint daggers everywhere in case you forget what to call 'em. Corey quickly finds love and romance in the City of Angels, falling for Chrissy (the once and future Cherry 2000 herself, Pamela Gidley), who just happens to be the kid sister of -- ::audible gasp!:: -- a Dagger. Tommy Hook doesn't take kindly to his sister dating a boy from The Valley (even though he's not?), and before you can say "skate or die", it's all-out war between the Ramp Locals and the Daggers. You're lookin' at scorched ramps, fist fights, jousting matches, and yup, even a huge climactic race, Airborne-style.

So, yeah, there's a whole lotta skateboarding. You're treated to one sequence early on where the Daggers skate around Cali interminably like Hal Warren's countryside drive in Manos: the Hands of Fate. You've got all sorts of P.O.V. skating shots. If you see a trick you think is really cool, brace yourself, 'cause you're probably about to see it again six seconds later. Hook is painted as this sneering, badass skater, which is kinda funny since he generally just slowly skates along in a straight line. Still, some of the camerawork is pretty great, such as one shot that follows Corey skating under a truck,...[read the entire Blu-ray review of Thrashin']


The Thing with Two Heads (Blu-ray)

The Thing with Two Heads!

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The Other Thing with Two Heads!

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The Thing with Two Heads and a Gun!

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The Thing with Two Heads and a Sedan!

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The Thing with Two Heads and a Dirtbike!

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Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? (The Thing with Two Heads!)

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The Thing with Two Heads and a WooooWooooWooooWooooWoooo! Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk!

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I kid because I love, and I genuinely do love The Thing with Two Heads.

The incomparably brilliant Dr. Maxwell Kirshner (Ray Milland) pioneered pretty much everything we've come to know about organ transplantation. Even at his advanced age, Kirshner's mind remains as gleamingly sharp as ever, but the body housing it...well, not so much. Riddled with inoperable cancer, the surgeon has at most weeks to live. It's a death sentence his body can't hope to escape, but as for his mind...? Kirshner has spent most every waking hour over the past few months in his basement laboratory, engineering a method of transplanting heads from one subject onto another. The procedure itself is startlingly straightforward, and though it takes a month or so for the grafted-on head to achieve dominance, the host body's original head can readily be removed after that. Kirshner can ensure that his genius lives on, just as long as he can get his hands on a viable donor body. Turns out that lining up a healthy, willing body on such short notice is a hell of a tall order, but all the right strings are pulled, and a donor is supplied for the doctor fresh off death row at the absolute last minute. The now-comotose Kirshner isn't conscious to consult, but his gifted staff ensures...[read the entire Blu-ray review of The Thing with Two Heads]


More reviews...

Stuff I've Watched Recently

  • 7/3: 22 Jump Street (2 Discs) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/27: Wet Hot American Summer (Blu-ray)
  • 6/25: Get Hard (Blu-ray + DVD + Digital HD UltraViolet Combo Pack) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/25: Lupin the 3rd: The Castle of Cagliostro (Blu-ray)
  • 6/22: Thrashin' (Blu-ray)
  • 6/22: Thing With Two Heads (Blu-ray)
  • 6/20: Soul Plane: Collector's Edition (Blu-ray)
  • 6/18: Spirited Away (2-Disc Blu-ray + DVD Combo Pack) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/18: Sugar Hill (Blu-ray; Commentary)
  • 6/18: Sugar Hill (Blu-ray)
  • 6/17: Kingsman: The Secret Service (Blu-ray)
  • 6/15: Fried Green Tomatoes (Blu-ray)
  • 6/6: John Wick (Blu-ray + DVD + Digital HD) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/2: Madman (Blu-ray + DVD Combo) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/1: Labyrinth (Blu-ray)
More of my boring video log...
 
Movies I've Acquired Recently

  • 7/2: The Monster That Challenged the World (Blu-ray)
  • 6/25: 22 Jump Street (2 Discs) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/25: The Quatermass Xperiment (1955) aka The Creeping Unknown (Blu-ray)
  • 6/18: Kingsman: The Secret Service (Blu-ray + Digital Copy) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/18: American Sniper (Blu-ray + DVD + Digital HD UltraViolet Combo Pack) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/18: Fried Green Tomatoes (Blu-ray + Digital HD UltraViolet) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/18: Get Hard (Blu-ray + DVD + Digital HD UltraViolet Combo Pack) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/15: Sugar Hill (Blu-ray)
  • 6/15: Spirited Away (2-Disc Blu-ray + DVD Combo Pack) (Blu-ray)
  • 6/15: Wet Hot American Summer (Blu-ray)
  • 6/15: Interstellar (Blu-ray)
  • 6/15: Thing With Two Heads (Blu-ray)
  • 6/15: Thrashin (Blu-ray)
  • 6/15: Soul Plane: Collector's Edition (Blu-ray)
  • 6/2: John Wick (Blu-ray + DVD + Digital HD) (Blu-ray)
More stuff I've bought or been sent to review...


 
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